Work is the motivation for living

Naturally, it is important to look after your family, and to make your life interesting in many ways through hobbies. However, one's enthusiasm, enjoyment and motivation to work are what make life worth living. This was Konosuke Matsushita's understanding: Work must generate the motivation for living.

(by Konosuke Matsushita - Founder of Panasonic)

News Update - 2.Feb.2009

• Amazon sales jump 18% despite a retail slump.
  
• Caterpillar sets more layoffs.
  
• Japan's NEC says to cut groupwide workforce by 20,000.
  
• Hitachi warns of $7.8b loss.
  
• Honda, Toyota and Porsche eye auto industry carnage.
  
• Japan's Panasonic Corp is set to book a $3.9 billion annual net loss.
  
• Ford Motor Co may need to access U.S. government help in late 2009,
  
• British drugs company GlaxoSmithKline Plc. is set to announce about 6,000 job losses
  
• An official in U.S. President Barack Obama's administration said on Saturday the announcement of a rescue plan for the financial system was running on schedule.
  
• Nike is experiencing a sharp increase in online sales
  
• http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/02/02/myanmar.suu.kyi/index.html?eref=edition_world
  
• Japan will hand out $17 billion in development aid to other Asian countries to help them face the global financial crisis, Prime Minister Taro Aso said at the World Economic Forum.
  
• In a brutal week for the job market, an assortment of companies across various industries announced more than 100,000 job cuts. (US job market)
  
• The worst snow since 1991 blankets southern England, causing travel chaos on roads and at airports.
  
• Every 30 seconds, a baby is born with physical defects in China, partly due to the country's deteriorating environment, state media said, citing a senior family planning official.

Counterfeit Money

One in every 40 £1 coins found to be a dud (Total of 37.5m £). This is the highest since the coin was introduced in 1983. In 2002, one in 100. In 2007, one in 50 coins. India also facing this bogus rupees problem. Those counterfeit rupees look perfect. In 2010, there will be 100 billion of fake currency (fake rupee) will be circulation in India.
(source: The Straits Times, 30.Jan.2008)

Job market shrink in Singapore

According to government released figures, unemployment rate in singapore is rising from 2.1% to 2.3% (especially in Q4) according to consequences of global economic downturn. And, job growth also slowed down significantly. This figure is just tip of iceberg.

A Limitless Number of Ways

There's really no limit at all to what you can do. Just maintain the determination to cultivate your potential, and a boundless number of ways will be open to you. There are innumerable teachers out there to assist you. Having an experienced colleague who's always willing to guide you is a real advantage. However, not having such a guide is not necessarily a disadvantage. It can, in fact, be a great strength. It forces you to find your own vision. Once you do that, you will realize that the possibilities are endless.

(by Konosuke Matsushita - founder of Panasonic)

Todd complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.00."

Todd figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noises and the various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow
Soak your arm in warm water
Avoid heavy labor
It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The machine again made the usual noise and flashed its lights and printed out the following:

Your tap water is too hard
get a water softener.
Your dog has worms
give him dewormer medicine.
Your daughter is on drugs
put her in rehab.
Your wife is pregnant
It ain't yours----get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off,
your elbow will never get better.

(Source: Daily Humor)

Never argue with a woman who reads

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides
to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides
to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and
says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start
at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

(Source: Daily Humor from Facebook)

:)

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation.

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

The trunk was opened; there was no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying dirtbag told you I was speeding, too.

(source: Daily Humor from Facebook)

Crazy English

• We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
  But the plural of ox is oxen, not oxes;
• One fowl is goose, while two are called geese,
  Yet the plural of mouse is never called meese!
• You may find a single mouse or a whole set of mice,
  But mind you, the plural of house is houses, not hice.
• If the plural of man is always called men,
  Then why shouldn’t the plural of pan be pen?
• If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
  And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
• If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
  Why should not the plural of booth be called beeth?
• Then, one may be that, and three may be those,
  But hat in the plural would never be hose;
  And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
• We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
  But though we say mother, we never say methern,
• Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
  But imagine the feminine – she, shis and shim,

So English, I am sure you all will agree,
Is the funniest language you never did see.